Dear Baby, Am I Ready For You?

How Third Trimester Doubts Quietly Echo—and How We Gently Answer Them

There's a silence that settles in around 3 a.m. when you're awake again—belly full, body aching, scrolling forums or staring at the ceiling fan. It's the kind of silence that carries questions no one prepared you for. You've done the things: the classes, the baby registry, the hospital bag checklist. People are already calling you "mama." You nod and smile. But under that smile is a question you can't seem to shake:

Am I actually ready for you, baby?

This question doesn't show up in the baby books. It's not something we post about or even say out loud at baby showers. But it lives in the hearts of so many women in their final weeks of pregnancy. You'll find it in hushed conversations on Reddit, in teary voice notes to best friends, in the sideways glance you give yourself in the mirror after another sleepless night. It's not just about whether the car seat is installed correctly or if you've practiced swaddling enough times. It's deeper. It's about whether your soul feels big enough, brave enough, whole enough to carry what's coming next.

When Joy and Fear Live in the Same Heart

No one told us how complicated joy could be. You feel the kicks—those magical, surreal nudges from the inside—and your heart swells. You think, "This is real. You're really coming." But sometimes, right behind the joy comes a flicker of fear.

Maybe you're scared of birth. Maybe you're afraid the bond won't feel natural. Or maybe, deep down, you're wondering if motherhood will erase parts of you that you worked hard to build.

These aren't signs that something's wrong. These are signs that you are already deeply invested. You're not indifferent—you're devoted. And with that devotion comes a sacred kind of vulnerability. That's why so many moms on forums and in friend groups whisper things like:

• "What if I don't know how to comfort them?"
• "What if I miss who I used to be?"
• "What if I'm not enough?"

Here's what I want to say, mama: those thoughts don't make you weak. They make you awake. You are stepping into the most intimate unknown, and it's okay if it stirs every emotion you've ever known.

Why This Happens (And Why You're Not Broken)

By the third trimester, the world starts treating you like the expert. People ask for your due date like it's a deadline. You might hear things like, "Any day now!" or "You must be so ready!" And maybe a part of you is. But another part feels like the clock is ticking too fast. You still don't know how to fold the stroller. You haven't nailed down a feeding plan. You're Googling "how to cope if my partner freezes during labor."

This sense of being on an emotional rollercoaster? Totally normal. From a behavioral psychology perspective, major life transitions—even joyful ones—can activate our brain's threat detection system. That's why you may feel overwhelmed, forgetful, even short-tempered. Your body is physically preparing, but your mind is emotionally bracing.

And here's the kicker: anxiety in the third trimester doesn't mean you're not ready. It means you care deeply. It means your identity is shifting, and your mind is doing its best to keep up with your heart.

You're Not Alone (Even If It Feels That Way)

If your culture raised you to be strong, composed, and selfless, then expressing doubt may feel like betrayal. But I'm here—Marisol is here—to say that your fears are part of the journey. They connect you to every mother who has stood at the threshold of this transformation.

Your abuela might have held her fears quietly while scrubbing dishes. Your own mother might've cried into her pillow while rocking you at 3 a.m. Just because their stories weren't always told doesn't mean they weren't real.

So let's tell ours.

Because when you realize that fear and strength can coexist, you begin to see your doubt not as a barrier—but as a bridge.

5 Gentle Ways to Cope With the "Am I Ready?" Spiral

You deserve tools that don't just fix—but hold you. Here are five simple, psychology-informed strategies to help you meet your third-trimester doubt with grace and self-trust.

From Doubt to Devotion

Dear baby,

I am not ready in the way checklists define readiness.

But I am growing into you.

Each worry I voice, each tear I cry, each breath I take through the fear—that's me loving you already.

And somehow, that will be enough.

🧡 Community Wisdom, Always

Your doubt is not a disqualifier—it's a doorway.

Let your fears walk with you, but don't let them speak louder than your truth. You are becoming not just a mother—but a new version of yourself. One who asks hard questions, and keeps loving anyway.

So light the candle. Cry when you need. Lean on your elders.

And remember: you don't have to feel ready to be ready.